figlia_morbida: ([lionheart])
Trish Una ([personal profile] figlia_morbida) wrote2022-08-08 05:05 pm
Entry tags:

Ryslig | IC inbox


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knifemonopoly: ([event] so i'll take my time)

[personal profile] knifemonopoly 2022-06-03 01:37 pm (UTC)(link)
It felt stranger to not have them at all.

I thought...I was part of someone else. I thought I was the fragment of his personality that would come forward when he was in trouble...I was what he was like when he was confident, and had the power of the Shadow Games at his command. I was happy like that. It was a little lonely, when his friends didn't know I was there, but it meant that I could protect what was important to him. His happiness was mine, too!

But...

Realizing that his heart wasn't my home, but not knowing what was -- that was strange!

[It's his turn to curl, his arms over his knees, which are drawn up to his chest. Atem's voice is confident, carefree, talking about this like it has no weight for him at all -- but that's not true.]

But now I know where I came from, even if it isn't complete. The memories I have, they're all precious...of this place, and of my time with Yugi. I don't want to lose any more of them...

[And that's what scares him. He keeps getting hurt. Dying. Going into states where he's not fully himself, where he does things he can't remember. He's already lost one memory. How much longer can he go on like this?

He can't. He can't, and he knows it.
]

I don't want to to back to being that adrift.
knifemonopoly: (matter and shadow)

[personal profile] knifemonopoly 2022-06-13 11:42 am (UTC)(link)
...

[He puts his head down on his arms, sideways. The touch to his arm is welcome, grounding, but her next question...

"Home" had been the eighth floor of the 38-8. That had been where he'd felt safe. When Ryou was happy, and Steve and Celeste and Riley were around, just on the other side of the walls, there if he only called out...that had felt like home.

But that feeling had been taken from him, in January. When he was attacked, and Ryou was killed, and it became clear that he was on his own to deal with this, and that Ryou would never be the same. There's his home in the apartment, that he and Ryou share...but it's not the eighth floor and the people in it anymore.

The only people Atem feels he can rely on to keep himself safe...his idea of that is more realistic, now. It was a nice feeling, while he had it, but his sense of security was false. Ryslig...it would get to him no matter what, and just like the only place that feels like home is the apartment he and Ryou share, the only person he can rely on to protect him is him, and the only person who will prioritize him is Ryou.

But that's good. No one should extend themselves past what they can reasonably do...Atem should have learned this months ago.
]

Right now...the apartment, with Ryou.

That's the only place I feel safe. It's the only place that feels like "home."

[He had been prevented from any retribution that might even the score, might get his good name and his pride back, because Ryou had requested it. He'd been powerless to secure himself, at least that way.

Which is why...which is why he has to get his sense of safety back another way. With power that will protect him -- an ability he won't be separated from, and can rely on...
]

I guess those are connected, huh...
Edited 2022-06-13 15:09 (UTC)
knifemonopoly: ([event] this is gospel for the fallen on)

[personal profile] knifemonopoly 2022-06-27 11:21 pm (UTC)(link)
[Is it...?

Would he be all right anywhere, as long as Ryou was with him...?
]

...no one in Ryslig can protect you completely. There's no one I can be with that would mean safety. Ryou can't keep me from harm any more than anyone else...

...but, he does feel like a vital part of "home." I can trust him. We look out for each other as much as this place allows us to.

[Ryou is a help. Ryou's saved him from worse fates before, when it was allowed by the rules of the game. It's only the times when no one could have saved him, that...]

I think a person, or people, can be your home...and then it can change, and not be the case anymore. Ryou feels like home, now...if I moved anywhere, I would want him to come with me.

[Yugi had been home for a long time. But when Yugi was here, it was different. The Atem Yugi knew had moved out, and Yugi had grown to fill the space left. Yugi isn't home anymore.]

My family traveled from city to city, depending on where we needed to be. No one palace was "home"...but my father was. And my mother, and Maia, and Siamun. Everyone who'd have rooms here...

[He tilts his head, indicating the space around him.]

...I haven't heard you mention your mother before.

[This is said with a little bit of uncurling, a little more openness. If Trish would like to talk...Atem would like to listen. He'd like to hear about the person who raised Trish to be who she is...she must have been something else.

And it's easier to think about than the endless dangers of Ryslig, and the futility of standing against them.
]
knifemonopoly: ([event] so i'll take my time)

[personal profile] knifemonopoly 2022-07-05 09:32 pm (UTC)(link)
[Ah.

A person who won't hurt you. Not necessarily a person who guarantees safety.

He sees.
]

I see what you mean, now. A person who is safe, who won't hurt you...not a person who can keep you from being hurt. That makes more sense.

[It probably says something about his state of mind, about the state he's been in for weeks--months--a year, now--that it's that kind of safety his mind jumps to, rather than "a person who won't hurt you, who you can shelter with."

He's been in danger no matter who he's with. He could be in danger now.
]

Yeah. I know what you mean...when Yugi was brought here, it was a cruel thing. It's better, that he's in the Sea of Souls...

[In the end, Yugi hadn't been someone he could call for help, and he didn't want Atem's.

Sent away.
]

Still, I'm sorry...that things happened in a way that made you feel that way, about losing her. That's more than anyone should have to endure.

[He looks out at the ocean that she's opened up, and the coastline beyond it. It's a lovely shore.]

You've called up a beautiful ocean.