[True, but consider: cannibalism is gross because people are gross. Trish balks at the idea of putting parts of another person in her mouth on many principles, most of them from a reasonable stance of "wow, that's fucked up" โ but also the mere idea of another person's flesh on her tongue used to make her want to barf.
It still does, she thinks, but the curry has a good smell to it. Which is unfortunate.
But it is a way to manage, although she can't say she doesn't appreciate learning the reality of what they're doing to the people here from her first kill. Even if said people are reduced to something unrecognizable, she doesn't want to forget. But Mukuro's courtesy is also not forgotten in this gesture, and she does appreciate that in equal measure.
Still, Trish finds it in herself to wrinkle her nose at Mukuro's demonstration, dipping her head and muttering:]
If I have to, maybe. But I'd rather not.
[Imagine, Trish Una laving Tupperware with her own saliva. This is petty, perhaps, but Mukuro is probably not surprised.
Trish at least doesn't refuse the curry, following Mukuro's lead and carefully lifting the container with her paws to tilt it towards her mouth. It doesn't...taste like a person. What it does taste like is nearly typical curry, and she would finish the whole thing in one gulp, suddenly hungrier than she thought, but Mukuro is speaking again.
Does she have a lot of friends? Trish would have said no, a few months ago. There's a lot she still keeps close to her chest even now. But she would be lying if she didn't say she cared deeply for each and every person she's come to know here.
She lowers the container, stray curry obvious on the white of her chin.]
Of course we're friends. There's no question about it. You've helped me more times than I've been able to repay.
[Nattensfest was a good way to give back, just a little โ and it seems to have made an impression, for what it's worth. Trish is glad for it.]
[Ah. Finicky, as always. Mukuro won't comment; she expects this kind of thing from Trish by now, and there's a sense of it being something acceptable to complain about. Everyone goes through horrific things here, and there's serious, awful stuff to bring up instead, but - well, that's usually painful to someone, sometime. Petty small stuff like this - it's a safe topic.
So she just hums, tail swaying slowly behind her.]
I'm glad. I mean - I'm not really used to - making friends, still. I guess.
[It still feels strange to even say. She picks up a rice ball, nibbles at it as she thinks.]
Most of my other friends... they live nearby, so I can keep an eye on them. But they're also - all different monster types. We all have some stuff in common, but...
[She shrugs one shoulder, taking another bite. Chews, swallows, manages to look back towards Trish, quietly earnest and unsure.]
...You're a were, too, so - I wanted to make sure I was - helping.
[Tell someone they're your kouhai without saying they're your kouhai.]
[It would be more surprising if she weren't finicky, huh?
Some people may find it exhausting, but Trish has somehow surrounded herself with people who don't mind her sweating the small things, and in fact seem to welcome it. Who else is going to complain about getting their hands dirty walking on all fours like a proper quadruped? It's so mundane compared to everything else a person could talk about when it comes to living as a monster.
In that way, it probably makes being a monster feel...more normal. And for Trish, more like herself. The day she accepts dirt on her person as a fact of life is the day the fog wins, frankly.
Trish listens to Mukuro speak, and for Mukuro in particular she's quiet. But it's true, she doesn't often see the werewolf because of the distance between their respective homes, and she wouldn't mind it...but it is really nice to have someone go out of their way to come see her. That means a lot.
She reaches for a rice ball too, something she's never had as an Italian, sniffing it while she thinks.]
...We do have that in common, don't we?
[Except Trish was never happy about herself as a person, but she was happy to be one.
Mukuro sheds her old face and her old world and it's like being reborn, or something. Trish imagines that's what it must feel like when being a monster does some good.
She takes the daintiest bite of rice ball that a bear can. It's tasty!]
I wonder how much more we have in common, if anything.
[Because they're drastically different people, aren't they? That remains true of everyone Trish has met even back in Italy.
But Mukuro was a mercenary, which is already a hell of a thing to consider even before everything else. If she hadn't mentioned it, Trish would never have guessed.]
You don't have to worry, by the way. You've always been helpful to me, long before I would have thought to ask.
[Mukuro can't stop a little smile, hearing that. Both because she's glad she's been so helpful already, but also... of course she'd helped without being asked. Asking for help can be humiliating or even terrifying. Asking means you might be denied, and punished for it, or told how worthless you are, or laughed at, or any number of awful things. And even if she hadn't had her prior life experience to teach her that, Mukuro lived with two people who made it a habit to never show that weakness. They never asked, because they couldn't stand finding out for sure how little they might mean to others. They never let themselves be weak, never let themselves need anyone else. Even though of course they did.
Mukuro and many, many people in their little group knew, you can't rely on anyone but yourself. But they've been unlearning that, bit by bit. And it's good to know Trish might not have ever felt like that, and that she can depend on others when she needs.]
...Good. We have to look out for each other you know...?
[That's one truth Mukuro's kept since coming here. Even if her circle has expanded from a single person to many, they're all trusted friends and peers. If they don't protect each other, no one else will.
She finishes off a rice ball, more delicately than perhaps expected, and glances Trish's way again. What do they have in common, hm.]
Do - um. If you have questions, about - anything, I don't mind answering. Whether it's about - me, or - this place, or advice, or. Whatever.
Edited (i'm so sorry for phone tagging) 2022-02-22 07:43 (UTC)
[Maybe it's because she's always depended on someone. Even the strongest people around her needed help, in both small ways and large, but they could solve other's problems too. They could be guides, examples. She wants to be strong enough to be someone to fall back on, like that. Someone reliable and courageous.
Mukuro is all of those things, isn't she? Mukuro is the kind of quiet strength she admires.
So it stands to reason Trish is analyzing her even now, from her actions to her words. Thus when Mukuro finishes with that, it's puzzling. Everything together, from fretting about being helpful, to the food, the mention of the fact they're both weres, to the offer of advice and such...does it seem like she needs help?
Trish tilts her head at the werewolf.]
...Are you worried about me?
[Wait.
Oh my god.
Trish puts her container down specifically so she can bury her face in her paws when it clicks. This weather is almost way too similar to that day, too, between the nighttime snow. Meaning:]
This is about Celeste's party, isn't it?
[She thought Mukuro would be too drunk to remember!!]
[Oh no, Trish is upset - Mukuro's paws come up, open and harmless, blue pads obvious against the grey.]
N-no - I mean - yes, it - it's because of that, but it's not - uhh.
[Trish!! She's sorry! They'd been soft at each other, but it wasn't that bad, right...?? It's not like the stories she'd heard of crazy, super embarrassing stuff people did when they got really drunk at parties. They're okay. They'll recover. And it's not like anyone else saw. And even if they had, who would ever dare to make fun of them for real?]
I'm - a little worried, yeah. And I just - I know it's hard to - ask. But it's not a big deal.
[The saving grace of the shy teen. Not a big deal. They don't have to make a thing of it. Mukuro's certainly not the type to run around telling everyone Trish's every move, and she's done way dumber stuff than her anyway.]
It's just - you know. I've been a werewolf for a while, and - we're friends. I want to - I want to make sure you're okay.
[Such as the above. She is painfully earnest, murmuring like that.]
[It's true, imagine making fun of either of them. It wouldn't go very far.
However, Trish is easily embarrassed despite herself, if only because she is a teenager and it strikes her deep in her fragile, developing pride. She's an Italian who let herself get that tipsy, but she wanted it too...she knows this.
It helps that Mukuro doesn't ever laugh at her, or rib her for her idiosyncrasies.
Because it was a nice conversation. And Mukuro implicitly understood the privacy it entailed, since they're all the way out here to discuss the crux of it. If Trish is honest, that's what really flusters her. That someone has noticed she's been struggling, and only wants to help her manage. That's been her whole experience here, and she's still not sure how much she deserves it, but she only has to look askance to see a waiting hand. It's a lot to think about now...that she's not invisible anymore. It's both mortifying and heartening, a blend that makes her vaguely queasy.
Mukuro is so earnest too, enough that Trish's paws drop, and she looks at the werewolf almost helplessly.]
I know we've discussed it before...I suppose I'm mostly ashamed that very little has changed since the last time.
[Because Mukuro encouraged her to run, to test the limits of her new body.
But going home, it was almost too easy to fall right back into old habits. And Mukuro hadn't even known then how her fellow were was living. So she doesn't believe that Mukuro doesn't think it's a big deal. If it weren't, she wouldn't be here, right?
Trish's voice is soft, but when she speaks, she doesn't try to bury the raw parts. She owes Mukuro that much for coming all the way out here.]
It's like you said. You like what you are. I don't. And I'm not really sure I can change that.
[Softly, as she chances a look into Trish's pretty green eyes.]
You don't - need to be ashamed. And you don't have to like it. I just think - there are parts of it you might like. And that can be enough to just - get through the rest. You know...?
[This is... hard. Mukuro's never been in the business of hope. On incremental improvements, on socializing, on interpersonal care. But she understands how to survive above all, and how to take care of her body so that she can depend on it when it counts. She can problem-solve, and she learns well. So she can apply what she does know to the people she cares about.
She's trying. As best she can. Gesturing to the curry, she continues, her voice a low murmur.]
The way we have to eat is awful for most people... so, figuring out how to make it a little more normal makes it easier. Being a monster is scary and painful sometimes... so learning what new things you can do with it lets you find the fun parts.
[Mukuro glances up again, trying to make herself understood despite her limited vocabulary.]
You're not - wrong, to not like it. Most people hate it here. I'm - I'm the weird one, I know I am. But - it helps me see stuff people can't sometimes, that's all.
[Trish doesn't look away, for her part. Mukuro is someone she can trust, and holding her gaze is easy.
Mukuro doesn't lie. Mukuro is soft spoken. Mukuro is admirable for both.
And she speaks...of compromise, in a way that Trish can understand and appreciate. She thinks very much and very often about what she doesn't like about this body she's trapped in. To the point she can't ever fathom being happy with it, but distractions aren't forever, and when she's alone, it's just her and her new form, and nothing to separate her from it.
She remembers Mukuro showing her the physical prowess of a monster, and how impressive it is, but that has little appeal to her.
But Mukuro loves her new form, and what it allows her, so there has to be something, right?]
You're not weird, Mukuro. I've met people far weirder than a werewolf girl, if you can believe it.
[Please, believe her. There are Stand Users shaped like Daikon radishes.]
I know what you're saying too, and I think you're mostly right, but there's not a lot I can imagine doing when I'm a monster like this. My body is so large, and my paws are sort of hand-shaped, but manipulating objects is hard.
Right now, the only good thing I can say about my new form is that my fur keeps me warm. I thought I would be miserable for the winter since I'm Italian, but even sitting out here...I don't feel a single chill.
[Which is neat, but not inherently useful when coats exist. Trish is thinking though, and she and Mukuro are different enough she's wracking her brain for a starting point, since Mukuro came out all this way, and she doesn't want the other were to think she's dismissing her points talking like this.]
I know being a monster has been good for you, but out of curiosity...has there been anything at all that was difficult to adjust to until you learned to manage it?
[She nods along as she listens. It doesn't feel like Trish is dismissing or belittling her, not at all. Trish is even saying she's met weirder people, which is probably true enough as far as the other girl knows. It's just that they're such different people, from such different lives. But the question at the end - that's easy, and she nods much more firmly.]
Yes.
[Of course she had. How could she not? Even though she truly appreciates what she's become... being a monster is not a completely positive experience. None of them escaped unscathed.]
When I first started changing - I was too hurt and tired to really do anything. The first night was - bloody. I almost bit my roommate; I couldn't handle the wolf instincts at first.
[A pause, as she tries to phrase it. It makes her sound crazy, she doesn't like being vulnerable, but - it's for Trish. So. She continues in a soft, hesitant murmur.]
I feel it - like it's - there. In the back of my head. Sometimes it's really hard to control. There are things I always had trouble with that are worse now. Crowds, loud noises - fireworks are really bad. And my emotions are - m-more. Um. I used to - before, I was good at keeping everything - locked down. Except for anger. Now, I feel more things, more strongly - and anger is still extra hard to deal with, because now it makes me want to bite, and that's - really dangerous for me to do.
[She gestures to her jaw - moreso than just the vicious teeth and brutal strength, there's an extra factor to deal with.]
...I - m-my bite is - infectious. If I'm too upset, I - uh, I drool. This awful black gunk. That's - um. That's part of why I stayed a normal wolf, when everyone else was - little kids. My Fog form used to do it all the time. I only learned to turn it off a month later.
[It's true, but it's also generous. Mukuro hasn't hesitated to share sordid things like her mercenary past, or how much she enjoys being a monster. All within just a few encounters with her.
But that's...a safe kind of weird. There are no secrets, and therefore no surprises.
So when she asks, she knows Mukuro is so honest she won't hesitate to answer. It feels a little leading that way, but Mukuro has been so comfortable in her wolf body that it's been hard to imagine she ever struggled. Knowing she did even a little makes it feel...less like she's failed completely, and more that she simply has been slow to adjust. She might not ever be as unified in her mind and body as Mukuro is, but it would be nice to be something closer to it, right?
So it's interesting to hear that Mukuro actually has struggled with control, at least to start with. Although it does bring up a few interesting things, and Trish tilts her head.]
I remember that. You changed in front of me because that form had usable hands. It was...it definitely would have been frightening to children. But I have to admit when I think about it now, I associate it with the ramen you gave me.
[There's a huff of a laugh to go with that statement. Imagine associating a drooling, lupine behemoth with ducky ramen. But that's how it is, when it comes to Mukuro.
As for the other thing...Trish's expression turns thoughtful.]
Joking aside, I didn't realize any of that could happen. The instincts and the change in emotions, I mean. Do all monsters adopt the habits of the animal they echo? Maybe that's why I haven't been able to acclimate.
[Trish's tiny ears droop.]
When I turn into this...I still feel like myself, just bigger.
[Mukuro can't help a little smile, at that. It's - sweet. It's really sweet, that Trish associates her most monstrous and terrifying form with cheap ramen and being cared for. She's very lucky to have met the people she's met, here.
The sad ears definitely get her to focus up again, but her expression stays just as soft as she speaks.]
No, not all. Some people never get any. Some people get them before the physical ones, or long after. And there are monster types that have mental changes even without being animal-based. It's pretty random.
[In her experience, they're common enough for her to warn people about it if they ask for her advice on changes, but there are absolutely those who managed to avoid anything like that.]
...I did say - you'd still be you. I'm still me. But maybe you'll get really into putting honey in your tea. I don't know.
[Is that a joke? From the peninsula's least humorous werewolf? Gasp.]
You know - werebears are one of the biggest and strongest monsters, physically. Even regular bears can do stuff like tear off car doors and things. I know you don't necessarily want to fight... but being able to do stuff like that is pretty thrilling.
[It's honestly funny, whenever Trish thinks about it. How incongruent things can be here, when perfectly kind people are made to wear the skin of something they're not. If it wasn't so awful to experience, she could laugh about being a bear.
It's ridiculous at its core, isn't it? Just like it was ridiculous to be served ramen by a nightmarish creature with a voice softer than a downy feather.
Although Trish isn't sure how to feel about everything associated with monster-dom being entirely arbitrary. In so many ways, Mukuro has become the wolf she resembles, and that has to make it easier to make the body and mind operate as a single unit. Having a mind that's still distinctly human piloting a completely ursine body like hers is just cruel comedy. Well, unless she wakes up one day really feeling like a bear.
She gives Mukuro a flat look.]
Oh, good. So there might still be more surprises left.
[And that look immediately gets dashed, because Mukuro is making a joke. Trish blinks, mouth falling open a little.
She places a large paw on her temple, letting it drag until it falls. A helpless motion.]
...I think Steve is starting to rub off on you.
[He made a really similar joke, once. Do they have Winnie the Pooh in Japan? Hrm.
As for the rest, Trish shrugs.]
And if I'm still me, then I just can't see my old self ripping apart cars. But I will admit I've never tried it before, for obvious reasons. [Although Spice Girl probably could punch a car to pieces...but that's neither here nor there.] Is that what you did when you first started testing your new body?
[Are you going to take her to try out her monster strength, Mukuro? Admittedly, being able to throw Steve effortlessly was...fun. But she was doing it in a fit of pique. Surely it can't be that fun all the time!]
[The comment about Steve just gets another small pleased smile. If anyone's gonna rub off on her, Steve is the nicest and normalest, so it's fine. As for wrecking cars...]
Well... not that exactly. But I did do a lot of stuff to test out my new body. A lot of what I do is based on muscle memory, so... I had to kind of relearn a lot of it, since my proportions are all different and I'm so much stronger. So when I realized how different it was I started pushing my limits.
[She stretches out said long limbs, paw and toebeans on full display.]
That's how I learned how high I can jump now, and how fast I can run. And - running wasn't fun before, it was just a thing I was okay at. Running as a wolf feels good.
[Nodding to the depleted picnic, she glances back up at Trish's cute bear face.]
Once we're done here we can try some stuff, if you like. It'll be interesting at least.
[That's true enough, isn't it? Mukuro was a mercenary, so she had to have been deeply in tune with her body and its capabilities, so having it change to a new form entirely must have been a dizzying change. With that context, it's easier to picture the adjustment period.
It makes the difficulty on her part a little more validated too. Playing bass again with subtly longer fingers, claws and thicker pads on her fingers certainly made reacclimating herself interesting, but it was much quicker when her day form is only a change in strength and a subtle shift in form. But this body? This is not a body she ever imagined herself with.
Oh, Mukuro's toe beans are so cute though. Trish allows herself that thought before reminding herself to focus. Especially when Mukuro briefly looks her way.
She tucks her paws to her chest, very much a picture of the girl underneath the fur.]
...Sure, I'd like that. I'll admit I didn't know where to even begin with a body like this. But I have experimented a little with my other form.
[Despite herself, Mukuro smiles. It's brief, hesitant and shy, but it's there all the same, a little spark of surprised pleasure before she settles back into her soft neutral look. 'If you're there.' Knowing she's important enough to matter, that she can actually help - it's nice. It's exactly what she's been trying to be, for Trish. It's good to know it's working.]
Okay.
[She pops the last rice ball into her mouth, chews and swallows as she gathers the containers and such back into her bag. She's not about to leave a mess in the woods no matter how eager she is to play with Trish. And that's what this is, really; Trish doesn't need to train like Mukuro had, hasn't asked to spar like Steve. She's trying to find the joy in this existence.
Shouldering the bag once more, Mukuro stretches to her full height, hands above her head - and then settles down to all fours as she glances Trish's way. The tip of her tail is already twitching a little, back and forth, the wolf always unwilling to hide its feelings.]
I bet you can keep up with me.
[She's going to make sure of it - it'd be really rude to leave Trish in the dust when she's inviting her on this excursion, after all. But genuinely, bears are much faster than people expect. And with that, she's off, loping through the snow.]
[Mukuro makes it feel natural. She's just there, a quiet pillar of support. And she doesn't react to any of Trish's ramped up emotions, soothing them through the simple virtue of patience, weathering them like stone until they're worn to nothing, no harm done.
It's hard to miss that smile too, and Trish blinks, but it's gone so fast. Still, it's a little telling how Mukuro doesn't waste any time in cleaning up their little picnic. A small meal that actually has already made her feel noticeably better, as morbid as that is. She doesn't eat like she should, just enough to make the feeling of hunger a dull ache in her gut.
But she's never going to admit that.
Mukuro herself provides a suitable distraction anyway, shifting seamlessly into a stance far better for running, and Trish makes a noise that sounds like someone flicked her nose. Because, now? They're going now? She had plenty of warning, sure, but she's slow on the uptake when it comes to these things!
Meaning that while Mukuro breaks into a brisk run, a silhouette of black fur flowing effortlessly through the snow, well. Trish goes through five stages of decision-making as fast as she can, her expression following suit, before she pursues her smaller companion. Of course, she is adamant about going it bipedal, which is inherently awkward as hell after a certain amount of speed. She does okay, at least, keeping Mukuro where she can see her, but Trish and her center of gravity are still not friends, and she leans forward as she picks up the pace to try and catch up properly.
Mukuro is thus treated to the sight of the werebear stumbling and going ass over tea kettle in a a massive spray of snow.
[Yeah, right now. It's been months of Trish moping and doing nothing, apparently; it's time to work on it. Mukuro keeps her pace even, moving far below her top speed - she's well aware Trish needs to ease into it, and that's made even more obvious when the bear refuses to use all four paws. Ryou had been hesitant at first, too. It's hard adjusting to a totally different body plan and gait.
Unfortunately, Trish's stubbornness catches up with her and sends her into the snow. Mukuro immediately circles back around, checking to see if she maybe caught her ankle on a root or something, but thankfully it seems like the only injury is probably to Trish's pride.
[Moping is her number one coping strategy, unfortunately. Trish is used to simply laying down and giving up like a cat harnessed and leashed, a last show of defiance when there's nothing else she can do in the face of whatever the problem happens to be.
Like right now, demonstrated when Trish doesn't get up immediately, laid out flat in her self-made crater, her chin drawing an arc in the snow that's left as she turns her head away from Mukuro when the wolf loops back around to her side. Sore pride indeed.
Quietly, Trish grouses:]
I refuse.
[ :( ]
I've already had to give up shoes, I'm not about to get my hands just as filthy.
[ :( :( :(
She'd look dumb too!!! If asked if she thought Mukuro looked dumb running on all fours, the answer would be an emphatic "no", however. Mukuro looks cool no matter what she does.]
[Aw. Mukuro sinks down to her haunches beside the pouting bear, leaning to gently touch her nose to Trish's shoulder - she's trying to show support without being too cuddly. Trish's finicky, as her complaints reiterate, and Mukuro doesn't want to add even more things for her to Deal With currently.]
I have alcohol wipes in my bag. We can clean your hands when we're done.
[Problem, solution. It's said without any kind of judgement or chiding tone. It's just the reality of the situation - if you want to run fast as a were, you have to get used to it, but that doesn't mean Trish needs to put up with dirty paws afterwards either. They'll all adapt how they can.]
[Trish is pouting when she finally looks Mukuro's way, prompted by the bump of the wolf's snout against her fluffy shoulder. At least she's unharmed, as soft as she and the snow both are.
Interestingly too, Mukuro repeats Trish's phrasing back to her. "Hands" instead of "paws". And an offer of a solution, instead of an insistence on a little dirt being normal. She sort of expects that from more seasoned monsters, honestly.
It's enough she seems to think about it on Mukuro's behalf, anyway. Which is more than most people would get from her.
She looks from Mukuro, to her enormous paws, and then back again.]
[Mukuro's comfortable with being a beast, but Trish very much is not. She isn't about to rub Trish's nose in it, so to speak, by drawing attention to the differences in their front limbs. Mukuro's distinct fingers and manual dexterity are definitely different than the bear's broad paws, and it's a privilege she's very aware of at the moment.
The question gets a firm nod. She would never promise anything she wasn't willing to back up! Especially not when she's offering herself as support - what's the good in getting Trish to lean on her only to betray her later with the horror of slushy paws?]
Mm. I don't mind using my first aid stuff.
[It's easily replaced. She can use bottled water to rinse them first if it's really bad, and she has a small towel as well as gauze and wipes. A little dirt is normal, but this is part of learning to handle things step by step, and if she has the means to alleviate some of the discomfort of course she'll offer. If helping a friend isn't worth a couple solars at the drug store it's not much of a friendship.]
[True, Mukuro often shows off the fact she still has hands she can use, but Trish assumes it's part and parcel with the fact werebears were not something she'd heard of until she became one herself.
Werewolves in movies and the like always had humanoid hands. It's expected. Werebears, however? Who fucking knows! The fog god decided to be the world's biggest shithead when given free reign in constructing her unique branch of were, gifting them the animal equivalent of oven mitts!!! Another reason she can go straight to hell.
Anyways, there's a brief bout of silence as Mukuro's offer is considered. And then Trish lets out a huff that sends a plume of snow up, as if doubled in force thanks to the weary weight of her teenage existence behind it.]
Fine.
[She'll humor Mukuro, just this once. So, carefully, Trish picks herself up, resisting the temptation to push herself up off the ground when she does. It is very hard to do this, but she does.
And the result is...weird. Trish pats at the ground with one paw at a time, testing the weight she puts on them. Her forelimbs have been sorely underused, but mostly she feels short after endeavoring to stand bipedal all this time? Rather than like, strictly uncomfortable.
[Perhaps surprisingly, Mukuro's tail is wagging again. Seeing Trish actually agreeing to try is a big deal. Mukuro's honestly a little surprised Trish is giving it a chance at all, rather than insisting on never allowing her front paws to touch dirt. It's exciting, having this chance.]
It's not so bad, right...? Feels sturdy.
[Mukuro stays on all fours herself, taking a few bounds through the snow to one of the brittle dead trees nearby. She sits, looking expectantly back at Trish, eyes gleaming as they reflect the ambient light - eerie, probably, except for the fact that her tail is making a little cone-shaped divot in the snow.]
Bears are a lot stronger than wolves, too. I bet you could smash this.
[The big mitts are useful for something! Powerful slaps! This tree is doomed if Trish can tap into her monster strength - Mukuro moves slowly, demonstrating the motion necessary.]
[It helps that she's feeling more energized, and that she's already damaged her pride by belly-flopping into the snow, only for Mukuro to say nothing about it. They're also a ways out from the house, meaning Trish can either try in the safe bubble of privacy Mukuro has created, or walk back home with her tail between her legs. And Trish Una is many things, a coward among them, but she can't be that in front of Mukuro. It's simply not allowed.
Admittedly, it also helps that testing the snow reveals it stays when she puts her weight all onto one paw, instead of letting her sink entirely through to muddy ground below. That may change when she tries pounding the earth with her paws in a run, but for now, she stays grounded. In response to Mukuro meanwhile, she makes a small noise. Whether it's agreement or not is up in the air, however.
But Mukuro seems...happy, so Trish isn't explicitly complaining.
She lumbers after the werewolf, comparatively slow as she continues the "on all fours" endeavor, and she can't hide her surprise when Mukuro changes trajectory again. First run, now smash? But she's already failed run, so why...? Trish pushes herself up off the ground to rest on her haunches, looking to Mukuro with fuzzy brows raised as she looks from the werewolf to the tree and back again.]
I understand what you're saying, but I think I'd do as much damage to myself as I would to this tree.
[Trish is picturing bent and broken claws, splinters. She knows Mukuro is a seasoned monster and wouldn't say this if she didn't really believe another monster could pull this off, but it's a lot. Mukuro's confidence will only be misplaced as it was mere minutes ago.]
no subject
It still does, she thinks, but the curry has a good smell to it. Which is unfortunate.
But it is a way to manage, although she can't say she doesn't appreciate learning the reality of what they're doing to the people here from her first kill. Even if said people are reduced to something unrecognizable, she doesn't want to forget. But Mukuro's courtesy is also not forgotten in this gesture, and she does appreciate that in equal measure.
Still, Trish finds it in herself to wrinkle her nose at Mukuro's demonstration, dipping her head and muttering:]
If I have to, maybe. But I'd rather not.
[Imagine, Trish Una laving Tupperware with her own saliva. This is petty, perhaps, but Mukuro is probably not surprised.
Trish at least doesn't refuse the curry, following Mukuro's lead and carefully lifting the container with her paws to tilt it towards her mouth. It doesn't...taste like a person. What it does taste like is nearly typical curry, and she would finish the whole thing in one gulp, suddenly hungrier than she thought, but Mukuro is speaking again.
Does she have a lot of friends? Trish would have said no, a few months ago. There's a lot she still keeps close to her chest even now. But she would be lying if she didn't say she cared deeply for each and every person she's come to know here.
She lowers the container, stray curry obvious on the white of her chin.]
Of course we're friends. There's no question about it. You've helped me more times than I've been able to repay.
[Nattensfest was a good way to give back, just a little โ and it seems to have made an impression, for what it's worth. Trish is glad for it.]
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So she just hums, tail swaying slowly behind her.]
I'm glad. I mean - I'm not really used to - making friends, still. I guess.
[It still feels strange to even say. She picks up a rice ball, nibbles at it as she thinks.]
Most of my other friends... they live nearby, so I can keep an eye on them. But they're also - all different monster types. We all have some stuff in common, but...
[She shrugs one shoulder, taking another bite. Chews, swallows, manages to look back towards Trish, quietly earnest and unsure.]
...You're a were, too, so - I wanted to make sure I was - helping.
[Tell someone they're your kouhai without saying they're your kouhai.]
i love her....were senpai best senpai
Some people may find it exhausting, but Trish has somehow surrounded herself with people who don't mind her sweating the small things, and in fact seem to welcome it. Who else is going to complain about getting their hands dirty walking on all fours like a proper quadruped? It's so mundane compared to everything else a person could talk about when it comes to living as a monster.
In that way, it probably makes being a monster feel...more normal. And for Trish, more like herself. The day she accepts dirt on her person as a fact of life is the day the fog wins, frankly.
Trish listens to Mukuro speak, and for Mukuro in particular she's quiet. But it's true, she doesn't often see the werewolf because of the distance between their respective homes, and she wouldn't mind it...but it is really nice to have someone go out of their way to come see her. That means a lot.
She reaches for a rice ball too, something she's never had as an Italian, sniffing it while she thinks.]
...We do have that in common, don't we?
[Except Trish was never happy about herself as a person, but she was happy to be one.
Mukuro sheds her old face and her old world and it's like being reborn, or something. Trish imagines that's what it must feel like when being a monster does some good.
She takes the daintiest bite of rice ball that a bear can. It's tasty!]
I wonder how much more we have in common, if anything.
[Because they're drastically different people, aren't they? That remains true of everyone Trish has met even back in Italy.
But Mukuro was a mercenary, which is already a hell of a thing to consider even before everything else. If she hadn't mentioned it, Trish would never have guessed.]
You don't have to worry, by the way. You've always been helpful to me, long before I would have thought to ask.
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Mukuro and many, many people in their little group knew, you can't rely on anyone but yourself. But they've been unlearning that, bit by bit. And it's good to know Trish might not have ever felt like that, and that she can depend on others when she needs.]
...Good.
We have to look out for each other you know...?
[That's one truth Mukuro's kept since coming here. Even if her circle has expanded from a single person to many, they're all trusted friends and peers. If they don't protect each other, no one else will.
She finishes off a rice ball, more delicately than perhaps expected, and glances Trish's way again. What do they have in common, hm.]
Do - um. If you have questions, about - anything, I don't mind answering.
Whether it's about - me, or - this place, or advice, or. Whatever.
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Mukuro is all of those things, isn't she? Mukuro is the kind of quiet strength she admires.
So it stands to reason Trish is analyzing her even now, from her actions to her words. Thus when Mukuro finishes with that, it's puzzling. Everything together, from fretting about being helpful, to the food, the mention of the fact they're both weres, to the offer of advice and such...does it seem like she needs help?
Trish tilts her head at the werewolf.]
...Are you worried about me?
[Wait.
Oh my god.
Trish puts her container down specifically so she can bury her face in her paws when it clicks. This weather is almost way too similar to that day, too, between the nighttime snow. Meaning:]
This is about Celeste's party, isn't it?
[She thought Mukuro would be too drunk to remember!!]
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N-no - I mean - yes, it - it's because of that, but it's not - uhh.
[Trish!! She's sorry! They'd been soft at each other, but it wasn't that bad, right...?? It's not like the stories she'd heard of crazy, super embarrassing stuff people did when they got really drunk at parties. They're okay. They'll recover. And it's not like anyone else saw. And even if they had, who would ever dare to make fun of them for real?]
I'm - a little worried, yeah. And I just - I know it's hard to - ask. But it's not a big deal.
[The saving grace of the shy teen. Not a big deal. They don't have to make a thing of it. Mukuro's certainly not the type to run around telling everyone Trish's every move, and she's done way dumber stuff than her anyway.]
It's just - you know. I've been a werewolf for a while, and - we're friends. I want to - I want to make sure you're okay.
[Such as the above. She is painfully earnest, murmuring like that.]
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However, Trish is easily embarrassed despite herself, if only because she is a teenager and it strikes her deep in her fragile, developing pride. She's an Italian who let herself get that tipsy, but she wanted it too...she knows this.
It helps that Mukuro doesn't ever laugh at her, or rib her for her idiosyncrasies.
Because it was a nice conversation. And Mukuro implicitly understood the privacy it entailed, since they're all the way out here to discuss the crux of it. If Trish is honest, that's what really flusters her. That someone has noticed she's been struggling, and only wants to help her manage. That's been her whole experience here, and she's still not sure how much she deserves it, but she only has to look askance to see a waiting hand. It's a lot to think about now...that she's not invisible anymore. It's both mortifying and heartening, a blend that makes her vaguely queasy.
Mukuro is so earnest too, enough that Trish's paws drop, and she looks at the werewolf almost helplessly.]
I know we've discussed it before...I suppose I'm mostly ashamed that very little has changed since the last time.
[Because Mukuro encouraged her to run, to test the limits of her new body.
But going home, it was almost too easy to fall right back into old habits. And Mukuro hadn't even known then how her fellow were was living. So she doesn't believe that Mukuro doesn't think it's a big deal. If it weren't, she wouldn't be here, right?
Trish's voice is soft, but when she speaks, she doesn't try to bury the raw parts. She owes Mukuro that much for coming all the way out here.]
It's like you said. You like what you are. I don't. And I'm not really sure I can change that.
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[Softly, as she chances a look into Trish's pretty green eyes.]
You don't - need to be ashamed. And you don't have to like it.
I just think - there are parts of it you might like. And that can be enough to just - get through the rest. You know...?
[This is... hard. Mukuro's never been in the business of hope. On incremental improvements, on socializing, on interpersonal care. But she understands how to survive above all, and how to take care of her body so that she can depend on it when it counts. She can problem-solve, and she learns well. So she can apply what she does know to the people she cares about.
She's trying. As best she can. Gesturing to the curry, she continues, her voice a low murmur.]
The way we have to eat is awful for most people... so, figuring out how to make it a little more normal makes it easier.
Being a monster is scary and painful sometimes... so learning what new things you can do with it lets you find the fun parts.
[Mukuro glances up again, trying to make herself understood despite her limited vocabulary.]
You're not - wrong, to not like it. Most people hate it here. I'm - I'm the weird one, I know I am. But - it helps me see stuff people can't sometimes, that's all.
show her she can rip up trees, muku
Mukuro doesn't lie. Mukuro is soft spoken. Mukuro is admirable for both.
And she speaks...of compromise, in a way that Trish can understand and appreciate. She thinks very much and very often about what she doesn't like about this body she's trapped in. To the point she can't ever fathom being happy with it, but distractions aren't forever, and when she's alone, it's just her and her new form, and nothing to separate her from it.
She remembers Mukuro showing her the physical prowess of a monster, and how impressive it is, but that has little appeal to her.
But Mukuro loves her new form, and what it allows her, so there has to be something, right?]
You're not weird, Mukuro. I've met people far weirder than a werewolf girl, if you can believe it.
[Please, believe her. There are Stand Users shaped like Daikon radishes.]
I know what you're saying too, and I think you're mostly right, but there's not a lot I can imagine doing when I'm a monster like this. My body is so large, and my paws are sort of hand-shaped, but manipulating objects is hard.
Right now, the only good thing I can say about my new form is that my fur keeps me warm. I thought I would be miserable for the winter since I'm Italian, but even sitting out here...I don't feel a single chill.
[Which is neat, but not inherently useful when coats exist. Trish is thinking though, and she and Mukuro are different enough she's wracking her brain for a starting point, since Mukuro came out all this way, and she doesn't want the other were to think she's dismissing her points talking like this.]
I know being a monster has been good for you, but out of curiosity...has there been anything at all that was difficult to adjust to until you learned to manage it?
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Yes.
[Of course she had. How could she not? Even though she truly appreciates what she's become... being a monster is not a completely positive experience. None of them escaped unscathed.]
When I first started changing - I was too hurt and tired to really do anything. The first night was - bloody. I almost bit my roommate; I couldn't handle the wolf instincts at first.
[A pause, as she tries to phrase it. It makes her sound crazy, she doesn't like being vulnerable, but - it's for Trish. So. She continues in a soft, hesitant murmur.]
I feel it - like it's - there. In the back of my head. Sometimes it's really hard to control.
There are things I always had trouble with that are worse now. Crowds, loud noises - fireworks are really bad.
And my emotions are - m-more. Um. I used to - before, I was good at keeping everything - locked down. Except for anger. Now, I feel more things, more strongly - and anger is still extra hard to deal with, because now it makes me want to bite, and that's - really dangerous for me to do.
[She gestures to her jaw - moreso than just the vicious teeth and brutal strength, there's an extra factor to deal with.]
...I - m-my bite is - infectious. If I'm too upset, I - uh, I drool. This awful black gunk. That's - um. That's part of why I stayed a normal wolf, when everyone else was - little kids. My Fog form used to do it all the time. I only learned to turn it off a month later.
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But that's...a safe kind of weird. There are no secrets, and therefore no surprises.
So when she asks, she knows Mukuro is so honest she won't hesitate to answer. It feels a little leading that way, but Mukuro has been so comfortable in her wolf body that it's been hard to imagine she ever struggled. Knowing she did even a little makes it feel...less like she's failed completely, and more that she simply has been slow to adjust. She might not ever be as unified in her mind and body as Mukuro is, but it would be nice to be something closer to it, right?
So it's interesting to hear that Mukuro actually has struggled with control, at least to start with. Although it does bring up a few interesting things, and Trish tilts her head.]
I remember that. You changed in front of me because that form had usable hands. It was...it definitely would have been frightening to children. But I have to admit when I think about it now, I associate it with the ramen you gave me.
[There's a huff of a laugh to go with that statement. Imagine associating a drooling, lupine behemoth with ducky ramen. But that's how it is, when it comes to Mukuro.
As for the other thing...Trish's expression turns thoughtful.]
Joking aside, I didn't realize any of that could happen. The instincts and the change in emotions, I mean. Do all monsters adopt the habits of the animal they echo? Maybe that's why I haven't been able to acclimate.
[Trish's tiny ears droop.]
When I turn into this...I still feel like myself, just bigger.
[Is her monster brain broken, were-senpai?]
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The sad ears definitely get her to focus up again, but her expression stays just as soft as she speaks.]
No, not all. Some people never get any. Some people get them before the physical ones, or long after. And there are monster types that have mental changes even without being animal-based. It's pretty random.
[In her experience, they're common enough for her to warn people about it if they ask for her advice on changes, but there are absolutely those who managed to avoid anything like that.]
...I did say - you'd still be you. I'm still me.
But maybe you'll get really into putting honey in your tea. I don't know.
[Is that a joke? From the peninsula's least humorous werewolf? Gasp.]
You know - werebears are one of the biggest and strongest monsters, physically. Even regular bears can do stuff like tear off car doors and things.
I know you don't necessarily want to fight... but being able to do stuff like that is pretty thrilling.
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It's ridiculous at its core, isn't it? Just like it was ridiculous to be served ramen by a nightmarish creature with a voice softer than a downy feather.
Although Trish isn't sure how to feel about everything associated with monster-dom being entirely arbitrary. In so many ways, Mukuro has become the wolf she resembles, and that has to make it easier to make the body and mind operate as a single unit. Having a mind that's still distinctly human piloting a completely ursine body like hers is just cruel comedy. Well, unless she wakes up one day really feeling like a bear.
She gives Mukuro a flat look.]
Oh, good. So there might still be more surprises left.
[And that look immediately gets dashed, because Mukuro is making a joke. Trish blinks, mouth falling open a little.
She places a large paw on her temple, letting it drag until it falls. A helpless motion.]
...I think Steve is starting to rub off on you.
[He made a really similar joke, once. Do they have Winnie the Pooh in Japan? Hrm.
As for the rest, Trish shrugs.]
And if I'm still me, then I just can't see my old self ripping apart cars. But I will admit I've never tried it before, for obvious reasons. [Although Spice Girl probably could punch a car to pieces...but that's neither here nor there.] Is that what you did when you first started testing your new body?
[Are you going to take her to try out her monster strength, Mukuro? Admittedly, being able to throw Steve effortlessly was...fun. But she was doing it in a fit of pique. Surely it can't be that fun all the time!]
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Well... not that exactly. But I did do a lot of stuff to test out my new body.
A lot of what I do is based on muscle memory, so... I had to kind of relearn a lot of it, since my proportions are all different and I'm so much stronger. So when I realized how different it was I started pushing my limits.
[She stretches out said long limbs, paw and toebeans on full display.]
That's how I learned how high I can jump now, and how fast I can run. And - running wasn't fun before, it was just a thing I was okay at. Running as a wolf feels good.
[Nodding to the depleted picnic, she glances back up at Trish's cute bear face.]
Once we're done here we can try some stuff, if you like. It'll be interesting at least.
WERE RUCKUS
It makes the difficulty on her part a little more validated too. Playing bass again with subtly longer fingers, claws and thicker pads on her fingers certainly made reacclimating herself interesting, but it was much quicker when her day form is only a change in strength and a subtle shift in form. But this body? This is not a body she ever imagined herself with.
Oh, Mukuro's toe beans are so cute though. Trish allows herself that thought before reminding herself to focus. Especially when Mukuro briefly looks her way.
She tucks her paws to her chest, very much a picture of the girl underneath the fur.]
...Sure, I'd like that. I'll admit I didn't know where to even begin with a body like this. But I have experimented a little with my other form.
[By throwing Steve, but. You know. That counts!!]
If you're there, it will be much easier.
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Okay.
[She pops the last rice ball into her mouth, chews and swallows as she gathers the containers and such back into her bag. She's not about to leave a mess in the woods no matter how eager she is to play with Trish. And that's what this is, really; Trish doesn't need to train like Mukuro had, hasn't asked to spar like Steve. She's trying to find the joy in this existence.
Shouldering the bag once more, Mukuro stretches to her full height, hands above her head - and then settles down to all fours as she glances Trish's way. The tip of her tail is already twitching a little, back and forth, the wolf always unwilling to hide its feelings.]
I bet you can keep up with me.
[She's going to make sure of it - it'd be really rude to leave Trish in the dust when she's inviting her on this excursion, after all. But genuinely, bears are much faster than people expect. And with that, she's off, loping through the snow.]
baby...
It's hard to miss that smile too, and Trish blinks, but it's gone so fast. Still, it's a little telling how Mukuro doesn't waste any time in cleaning up their little picnic. A small meal that actually has already made her feel noticeably better, as morbid as that is. She doesn't eat like she should, just enough to make the feeling of hunger a dull ache in her gut.
But she's never going to admit that.
Mukuro herself provides a suitable distraction anyway, shifting seamlessly into a stance far better for running, and Trish makes a noise that sounds like someone flicked her nose. Because, now? They're going now? She had plenty of warning, sure, but she's slow on the uptake when it comes to these things!
Meaning that while Mukuro breaks into a brisk run, a silhouette of black fur flowing effortlessly through the snow, well. Trish goes through five stages of decision-making as fast as she can, her expression following suit, before she pursues her smaller companion. Of course, she is adamant about going it bipedal, which is inherently awkward as hell after a certain amount of speed. She does okay, at least, keeping Mukuro where she can see her, but Trish and her center of gravity are still not friends, and she leans forward as she picks up the pace to try and catch up properly.
Mukuro is thus treated to the sight of the werebear stumbling and going ass over tea kettle in a a massive spray of snow.
Farewell, Miss Una.]
[gta font] WASTED
Unfortunately, Trish's stubbornness catches up with her and sends her into the snow. Mukuro immediately circles back around, checking to see if she maybe caught her ankle on a root or something, but thankfully it seems like the only injury is probably to Trish's pride.
Very gently, she says:]
You get better traction and balance on four legs.
W A S T E D
Like right now, demonstrated when Trish doesn't get up immediately, laid out flat in her self-made crater, her chin drawing an arc in the snow that's left as she turns her head away from Mukuro when the wolf loops back around to her side. Sore pride indeed.
Quietly, Trish grouses:]
I refuse.
[ :( ]
I've already had to give up shoes, I'm not about to get my hands just as filthy.
[ :( :( :(
She'd look dumb too!!! If asked if she thought Mukuro looked dumb running on all fours, the answer would be an emphatic "no", however. Mukuro looks cool no matter what she does.]
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I have alcohol wipes in my bag. We can clean your hands when we're done.
[Problem, solution. It's said without any kind of judgement or chiding tone. It's just the reality of the situation - if you want to run fast as a were, you have to get used to it, but that doesn't mean Trish needs to put up with dirty paws afterwards either. They'll all adapt how they can.]
Come on, you can do it.
crybaby learns to run...
Interestingly too, Mukuro repeats Trish's phrasing back to her. "Hands" instead of "paws". And an offer of a solution, instead of an insistence on a little dirt being normal. She sort of expects that from more seasoned monsters, honestly.
It's enough she seems to think about it on Mukuro's behalf, anyway. Which is more than most people would get from her.
She looks from Mukuro, to her enormous paws, and then back again.]
...You're absolutely sure you have enough?
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The question gets a firm nod. She would never promise anything she wasn't willing to back up! Especially not when she's offering herself as support - what's the good in getting Trish to lean on her only to betray her later with the horror of slushy paws?]
Mm. I don't mind using my first aid stuff.
[It's easily replaced. She can use bottled water to rinse them first if it's really bad, and she has a small towel as well as gauze and wipes. A little dirt is normal, but this is part of learning to handle things step by step, and if she has the means to alleviate some of the discomfort of course she'll offer. If helping a friend isn't worth a couple solars at the drug store it's not much of a friendship.]
BLEPH
Werewolves in movies and the like always had humanoid hands. It's expected. Werebears, however? Who fucking knows! The fog god decided to be the world's biggest shithead when given free reign in constructing her unique branch of were, gifting them the animal equivalent of oven mitts!!! Another reason she can go straight to hell.
Anyways, there's a brief bout of silence as Mukuro's offer is considered. And then Trish lets out a huff that sends a plume of snow up, as if doubled in force thanks to the weary weight of her teenage existence behind it.]
Fine.
[She'll humor Mukuro, just this once. So, carefully, Trish picks herself up, resisting the temptation to push herself up off the ground when she does. It is very hard to do this, but she does.
And the result is...weird. Trish pats at the ground with one paw at a time, testing the weight she puts on them. Her forelimbs have been sorely underused, but mostly she feels short after endeavoring to stand bipedal all this time? Rather than like, strictly uncomfortable.
She looks to Mukuro then, clearly for approval.]
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It's not so bad, right...?
Feels sturdy.
[Mukuro stays on all fours herself, taking a few bounds through the snow to one of the brittle dead trees nearby. She sits, looking expectantly back at Trish, eyes gleaming as they reflect the ambient light - eerie, probably, except for the fact that her tail is making a little cone-shaped divot in the snow.]
Bears are a lot stronger than wolves, too.
I bet you could smash this.
[The big mitts are useful for something! Powerful slaps! This tree is doomed if Trish can tap into her monster strength - Mukuro moves slowly, demonstrating the motion necessary.]
Move with your whole body and follow through.
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Admittedly, it also helps that testing the snow reveals it stays when she puts her weight all onto one paw, instead of letting her sink entirely through to muddy ground below. That may change when she tries pounding the earth with her paws in a run, but for now, she stays grounded. In response to Mukuro meanwhile, she makes a small noise. Whether it's agreement or not is up in the air, however.
But Mukuro seems...happy, so Trish isn't explicitly complaining.
She lumbers after the werewolf, comparatively slow as she continues the "on all fours" endeavor, and she can't hide her surprise when Mukuro changes trajectory again. First run, now smash? But she's already failed run, so why...? Trish pushes herself up off the ground to rest on her haunches, looking to Mukuro with fuzzy brows raised as she looks from the werewolf to the tree and back again.]
I understand what you're saying, but I think I'd do as much damage to myself as I would to this tree.
[Trish is picturing bent and broken claws, splinters. She knows Mukuro is a seasoned monster and wouldn't say this if she didn't really believe another monster could pull this off, but it's a lot. Mukuro's confidence will only be misplaced as it was mere minutes ago.]
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