[He puts his head down on his arms, sideways. The touch to his arm is welcome, grounding, but her next question...
"Home" had been the eighth floor of the 38-8. That had been where he'd felt safe. When Ryou was happy, and Steve and Celeste and Riley were around, just on the other side of the walls, there if he only called out...that had felt like home.
But that feeling had been taken from him, in January. When he was attacked, and Ryou was killed, and it became clear that he was on his own to deal with this, and that Ryou would never be the same. There's his home in the apartment, that he and Ryou share...but it's not the eighth floor and the people in it anymore.
The only people Atem feels he can rely on to keep himself safe...his idea of that is more realistic, now. It was a nice feeling, while he had it, but his sense of security was false. Ryslig...it would get to him no matter what, and just like the only place that feels like home is the apartment he and Ryou share, the only person he can rely on to protect him is him, and the only person who will prioritize him is Ryou.
But that's good. No one should extend themselves past what they can reasonably do...Atem should have learned this months ago.]
Right now...the apartment, with Ryou.
That's the only place I feel safe. It's the only place that feels like "home."
[He had been prevented from any retribution that might even the score, might get his good name and his pride back, because Ryou had requested it. He'd been powerless to secure himself, at least that way.
Which is why...which is why he has to get his sense of safety back another way. With power that will protect him -- an ability he won't be separated from, and can rely on...]
no subject
[He puts his head down on his arms, sideways. The touch to his arm is welcome, grounding, but her next question...
"Home" had been the eighth floor of the 38-8. That had been where he'd felt safe. When Ryou was happy, and Steve and Celeste and Riley were around, just on the other side of the walls, there if he only called out...that had felt like home.
But that feeling had been taken from him, in January. When he was attacked, and Ryou was killed, and it became clear that he was on his own to deal with this, and that Ryou would never be the same. There's his home in the apartment, that he and Ryou share...but it's not the eighth floor and the people in it anymore.
The only people Atem feels he can rely on to keep himself safe...his idea of that is more realistic, now. It was a nice feeling, while he had it, but his sense of security was false. Ryslig...it would get to him no matter what, and just like the only place that feels like home is the apartment he and Ryou share, the only person he can rely on to protect him is him, and the only person who will prioritize him is Ryou.
But that's good. No one should extend themselves past what they can reasonably do...Atem should have learned this months ago.]
Right now...the apartment, with Ryou.
That's the only place I feel safe. It's the only place that feels like "home."
[He had been prevented from any retribution that might even the score, might get his good name and his pride back, because Ryou had requested it. He'd been powerless to secure himself, at least that way.
Which is why...which is why he has to get his sense of safety back another way. With power that will protect him -- an ability he won't be separated from, and can rely on...]
I guess those are connected, huh...