[Strangely, that admission makes him laugh. It's a soft puff of sound, low and inaudible a few feet from where they're sitting. His smile is crooked and so, so normal, especially considering what he's about to say. But that's the thing. It's all so normal. This is his life. This is how he exists. This is why he exists.]
Good, [he murmurs, leaning forward and ducking his head to look her in the eye, because he needs to — because this is important.] That's good. That's exactly how it should be, Trish.
[And that's exactly why he can't relax. Why he can't make the promise to himself that she's made to herself. He isn't afraid, truly. But he's cautious. He always will be. With one potential exception.]
[If it was only him, Giorno alone with none of his people . . . he wouldn't care. He'd throw the heavy mantle of caution off his shoulders and walk into danger headlong, reckless and wild. But this is where he belongs. This is what keeps him real, and sane, and Giorno.]
[He reaches out and touches the back of her hand, where it covers the scar on her wrist — a layer of protection over layers more. Always a failsafe. Always the first and last line of defense. When he speaks, it's light, airy, like he's discussing a movie, or the pros and cons of different kinds of pizza.]
It's not what they've done but what they could do. I hold it in the front of my mind and in my heart because my job is to keep you safe. All of you. To make a world where the people I love don't have to live in fear. Even if it's this world, even if I have to balance awareness of a thousand threats, I will make it so. It's my job. It's my duty.
[This is how he honors the dead and the living and the missing spirit of home. Even if he has to carry out his duty here, in a place a thousand times more challenging than Napoli, it is the most important thing to him. He'd die for it a thousand times, but he'd fight to stay alive even harder. For them.]
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Good, [he murmurs, leaning forward and ducking his head to look her in the eye, because he needs to — because this is important.] That's good. That's exactly how it should be, Trish.
[And that's exactly why he can't relax. Why he can't make the promise to himself that she's made to herself. He isn't afraid, truly. But he's cautious. He always will be. With one potential exception.]
[If it was only him, Giorno alone with none of his people . . . he wouldn't care. He'd throw the heavy mantle of caution off his shoulders and walk into danger headlong, reckless and wild. But this is where he belongs. This is what keeps him real, and sane, and Giorno.]
[He reaches out and touches the back of her hand, where it covers the scar on her wrist — a layer of protection over layers more. Always a failsafe. Always the first and last line of defense. When he speaks, it's light, airy, like he's discussing a movie, or the pros and cons of different kinds of pizza.]
It's not what they've done but what they could do. I hold it in the front of my mind and in my heart because my job is to keep you safe. All of you. To make a world where the people I love don't have to live in fear. Even if it's this world, even if I have to balance awareness of a thousand threats, I will make it so. It's my job. It's my duty.
[This is how he honors the dead and the living and the missing spirit of home. Even if he has to carry out his duty here, in a place a thousand times more challenging than Napoli, it is the most important thing to him. He'd die for it a thousand times, but he'd fight to stay alive even harder. For them.]